HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 Tips and tricks

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2  Next
AuthorMessage
Mart
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member
avatar

Posts : 703
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 72
Location : South of England

PostSubject: Tips and tricks   Sat May 27, 2017 6:09 pm

Dry skin problems? Wear your clothes straight from the washing machine.

If you think you are watching too much television, watch it for at least two hours a day more. Then you can be sure you are.

Teach children the correct way to swear by making them wallpaper the lounge (especially around the window). It worked with mine.

Smile
Back to top Go down
andsome
Ambassador
Ambassador
avatar

Posts : 4461
Join date : 2014-09-24
Age : 81
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sun May 28, 2017 8:04 am

Like it. drum

___________________________________________________
Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived.

Back to top Go down
Mart
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member
avatar

Posts : 703
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 72
Location : South of England

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:15 pm

* Avoid junk mail and bills by installing another letter box some distance below the one already there. Connect the lower one to the upper one with a 'U' shaped chute. Imagine the postman's surprise and frustration as the letter he's trying to deliver keeps landing at his feet!

* What's the use of a disabled toilet? One that works is what's needed.

* If I was a world leader there's one place I'd never go. It's called Eggs Isle. Former presidents, world leaders etc., seem to die in Eggs Isle quite regularly.
Back to top Go down
AlanHo
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 7361
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 80
Location : Solihull

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sun Jun 04, 2017 9:17 pm

There is a lot of sense in these posts

Signed

Paddy. giggle

___________________________________________________
This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour,  ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. whistle
Back to top Go down
Mart
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member
avatar

Posts : 703
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 72
Location : South of England

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:27 pm

* Whilst walking along the High Street, be careful not to walk too close to the edge and fall off.

* If you have waited for ages at a crowded bar being ignored by the bar staff then, at last, they come to serve you tell them irately to "SHOVE OFF"! You don't get a drink but it's a very satisfying feeling.

* Never read the instructions for a new kettle. It shows a lack of intelligence if you do. Only when you have blown the kettle up should you read the instructions.
Back to top Go down
Goldie
Member
Member
avatar

Posts : 1738
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 63
Location : Vale of Glamorgan

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:35 pm

Ha ha. Daft isn't it but true  smile
Back to top Go down
Purwell
Member
Member
avatar

Posts : 201
Join date : 2017-03-19
Age : 69
Location : North Herts

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sat Jun 17, 2017 3:38 pm

Don't pick your nose when approaching a speed bump.
Back to top Go down
Goldie
Member
Member
avatar

Posts : 1738
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 63
Location : Vale of Glamorgan

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:14 pm

Don't wear your saddles in the rain. Wet feet  murgs dance
Back to top Go down
davo
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member
avatar

Posts : 1838
Join date : 2016-10-19
Location : OZ

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:44 pm

I usually keep my saddles on the horse that way they don't get wet!!
Back to top Go down
Goldie
Member
Member
avatar

Posts : 1738
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 63
Location : Vale of Glamorgan

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:37 pm

davo wrote:
I usually keep my saddles on the horse that way they don't get wet!!
 Should read  the things you were on your feet drum
Back to top Go down
meerkat12
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member
avatar

Posts : 2284
Join date : 2014-10-05
Location : South east England

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:57 pm

Great so true...
Back to top Go down
Mart
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member
avatar

Posts : 703
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 72
Location : South of England

PostSubject: Re: Tips and tricks   Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:38 pm

Doing either of these will make people look twice:

* When you are in a boat, fill a bowl or bucket full of water. Then throw it overboard bit by bit using a cup. This makes people think you are sinking.

* Take a pair of oars with you into the water until roughly waist deep. This makes people think your boat has sunk.
Back to top Go down
 
Tips and tricks
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 2Go to page : 1, 2  Next
 Similar topics
-
» SHSAT Help- Tips please.
» TinyChat Help
» tips and tricks for gettings A's ?
» List of Tricks & Tips
» Tips for Ramadan Fasting

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Murgatroyd's Drop-in centre and Forum :: Lifestyle :: Random Scribbles, Poetry, Stories etc.-
Jump to: