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davo
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PostSubject: jokes by and for ladies??   Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:46 pm

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

Because no-one will stop and ask directions!

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”

Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife: "As opposed to what?"

Why do some say husbands are like lawn mowers?

Because they are hard to get started, emit foul odours, and don't work half the time.
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PostSubject: Re: jokes by and for ladies??   Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:20 am

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davo
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PostSubject: Re: jokes by and for ladies??   Wed Aug 16, 2017 3:06 pm

1. A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

2. A man passed out on the beach in Naples , Florida for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to the front of his legs above his knees.

He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?'

The Doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'

3. Of course women don't work as hard as men -
They get it right first time.
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PostSubject: Re: jokes by and for ladies??   Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:32 pm

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davo
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PostSubject: Re: jokes by and for ladies??   Thu Aug 17, 2017 12:09 am

A woman returned home from the doctors crying her eyes out.
Her husband all concerned asked "What's the matter?"
"The doctor says we can't have sex for two weeks" she sobbed
"Why?" replied her husband
"Because he's going on holiday" she replied
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PostSubject: Re: jokes by and for ladies??   Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:27 am

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PostSubject: Re: jokes by and for ladies??   Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:37 am

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